#if you ship them i will smite you

[cypresswood3]

Jonah Magnus' name is a personal tragedy for me because I used to go by Jonah online before I got into tma and now I can't do it bcs it looks like I've named myself after him and I cannot convince people otherwise. Like no ❤️ . I'm Jonah because of the biblical Jonah. He's so fucking funny. Relatable icon. I could yap about him forever.

*experiences minor inconvenience* I should kill myself

[mystii-gur0]

Guys it took ten years but I think I finally figured out who Gaster is

So I was talking to my friend in DMs yesterday about Undertale and I was telling him about how we basically know nothing about Gaster besides that he was the Royal Scientist before Alphys, potentially made Sans's blaster, and was shattered across time in space after falling into his own creation, which we assume was probably the Core. And also how we suspect he's a skeleton because his name is W.D. Gaster (being likely a combination of the fonts Wing Dings and Aster) and the so far the only characters that are named after fonts and speak with a font/typing quirk are obviously Sans and Papyrus, who are obviously skeletons.

So then I was like "haha, what if Sans is Gaster cause they're both sciency and skeletons" as like a joke. And then I started to think about it.

My initial theory was that Sans is just straight up Gaster and the "falling into his own creation and being shattered across time and space" thing was just a metaphor for Sans loosing his shit over figuring out the whole other time lines thing, but that theory had well- a lot of holes, to be nice to myself. For one thing, Sans and Alphys are friends. And if Sans was just straight up Gaster, one would think Alphys would recognize him and be like- "Dude didn't you use to be my boss?" Or smth. And not just Alphys, if Sans was Gaster I would think more people would recognize him. And that doesn't solve and of the weird stuff about Papyrus either. Given that he and Sans BOTH just kinda showed up one day, according to the shop keeper in Snowdin.

But I liked this theory, so I kept thinking, and came to what can only be described as an epiphany or my very own eurika moment.

Sans and Papyrus are BOTH Gaster.

CAUSE THINK ABOUT OK

IT ANSWERS EVERYTHING

Gaster was shattered across time and space after falling into what we assume is the Core. Key word, SHATTERED, as in split into peices. Sans and Papyrus randomly show up one day with little to no explanation of who they are or where they came from? ANSWERED BY THEM BEING WHAT'S PHYSICALLY LEFT OF GASTER IN THEIR REALITY. THEY DID NOT EXIST UNTIL GASTER FELL INTO THE CORE. Sans (and probably Papyrus) using Gaster blasters? ANSWERED BY THEM BEING GASTER. OF COURSE THEY WOULD USE GASTER'S ATTACKS IF THEY WERE GASTER. Sans being significantly physically weaker and smaller than Papyrus, all though he's better with people and scientific concepts? ANSWERED BY THEM BEING UNEVENLY SPLIT. Sans and Papyrus having drastically different personalities, typing styles, and character designs that could almost be described as exact complementary opposites? ANSWERED BY THEM BEING PARTS OF A WHOLE PERSON. Sans only having one glowing eye that's conveniently the same eye that what we assume is the Gaster overworld sprite has open? ANSWERED BY HIM BEING A PEICE OF GASTER.

"Oh but Sans and Papyrus are brothers!" What other word would they have to describe what they are? They're like brothers by mitosis or smth 😭

I'm loosing my marbles i need a cork board with string

Edit: actually now that I'm thinking about it, their codepency makes a lot of sense if you look at them this way. They just want to be whole again @_@

[danwhobrowses]

nothing to see here just a crazy shipper guy going crazy over Callowmoore under the bit, if that's not for you then go about your business

So fellow Callowmoores how we feelin' this morning/evening? Because it's evening right now and I'm still bouncing off the walls in my mind

The one post could not keep me contained! No seriously the amount of tags I put in hit a limit and doesn't show them all

I mean yes we didn't get a kiss (yet) but goddamn we got so much, it has possessed me, deranged me, it's leaking outta my brain I gotta talk about it, so either jump out or buckle up because this overflow is gonna be long

First off I just gotta talk about how so many things almost lined up how I imagined them because it just makes it feel like they looked into my head and thought 'hey that's kinda good'. Like, I wanted Fearne to take the shard at Mori's, it was a safer space for her than the Ziggurat which is tainted by bad memories (this and other campaigns), I just didn't expect it so soon, thought they'd at least have a full rest first. In fact I had a whole scene in my mind where in a desperate gambit Delilah took over Laudna while she slept and just knocked on Ashton's door in a form of dread going 'where's the shard Ashton?'. It's key to this I promise not only because I enjoyed the idea of Ashton not taking any of Delilah's shit (plus for you Imodnas out there the mental scene involves Ashton whispering 'Imogen's in danger' to wake her, they also ask where Paté is because they still have that 'Paté is Delilah' theory) but it also expanded on the possible helplessness Ashton would have being unable to assist Fearne with taking the shard

'You're a child, Ashton. A blunt instrument that charges blindly into harm, would you really risk Fearne's life to earn her forgiveness? You know what it can do, what happens when you can't protect her from it?'

Of course, Ashton would never give Delilah the shard, which would frustrate Delilah since she can't manipulate them, but the comment weighs on Ashton a little. Which is when the whole waking Laudna happens and she leaves, but Fearne is in his room (the Vox Machina bathtub scene being inspiration), having asked to sleep there for comfort and asks them if it worries them. Which is where I often got to use this quote

'I don't believe in fate, but I believe in you'

And it sticks with me because it's super romantic, but also on-brand for Ashton, there were variations like the longer 'things only affect our path if we choose to believe they do; fate is complicated, the gods don't give a fuck, and I don't wanna even think about legacy anymore, I don't believe in them, but I believe in you' but then the next morning comes and Ashton gives her the ring, since I forgot about attunement there were instances where it was a sneaky sleight of hand thing, and Fearne completes the process. Of course, with weeks to go on there were a lot more scenarios like Fearne pickpocketing the Ashton doll to practice talking to and putting it back, Ashton seeking Mori for advice, herbal tea visions where Ashton entered their own mind and encounters the empress while on the outside Delilah possesses Laudna to try and drain the power from them, one where the shard having been reshaped through Ashton is less intense on Fearne for the first 4 rounds (since they blew up on the fifth) because Ashton's essence is containing and dissipating the hostile energy, and one where the group secretly vote against Ashton being there for Fearne taking the shard (Imogen, Laudna, and Chetney 3 to 2 against Orym and FCG) but Fearne as the decider pulls them over because she needs them there, stuff like that I'm sure fanfic writers could consume to their heart's content (and are free to, go nuts). But these scenes stood out because it had elements of stuff that are linked to or actually happened in the episode; Fearne does take the shard, Ashton endorses that Fearne is the only one who can take it, Ashton gives her the ring and Shattered Vigor is apparently a thing where Ashton is practically taking Fearne's pain to protect her, that alone is enough to go insane over.

And can we talk about the ring for a moment, because like THE RING. I'm not talking about generically either I mean that this ring has been significant to the shard saga ever since Ashton claimed it. It was found on the corpse of someone infused into stone, into the earth, right between the whole eidolons stuff where Ashton connected with an Earth elemental and then the Grau Dashari stuff with the crystals they merged with their hammer and then the Bor'dor incident, that could've easily been a titan-based punishment. Also, Ring of Volcanic Flesh, like Ashton's stone arm? And if that wasn't enough, what was the first thing Fearne stole from Ashton when they reunited? The ring, the act that broke down Ashton's walls as they let out a most heartfelt 'I missed you, so much' the ring that Fearne stole right off of Ashton's fingers only for them to willingly put in her hand to protect her, because just as they said at the clock tower, everything they have belongs to her. And while legacy and hubris had a part in the shard incident, part of it was also for Fearne. I don't believe there's any situation where if Fearne said she wanted the shard at the clock tower Ashton would've said no; Ashton knows that Fearne was key to the shard dislodging in the lava, they sensed it was in a way key to both of them, but there was no reality where Ashton was gonna force Fearne to take the shard if she didn't want it. And yes it blew up in their face, much like Fearne they saw an image of themselves they didn't want to be, their soul broke with the realisation that they hurt the one person they never wanted to hurt, but thanks to Percy they also realised that they had to change. It wasn't enough to see everyone else having someone at the reunion and internalizing 'if someone has to not come back it's gotta be me' they had to make steps towards being the person the Hells needs them to be, someone who can come back with them.

Which is where last episode started setting it up, and I didn't speak much about it at the time because other than the pretty plain 'I would've rather died than hurt Fearne' insinuation (which in turn was confessed to save Fearne from falling) there was only crumbs that could be interpreted other ways; for instance Birdie's tale with Athion and Olly being somewhat of a parallel to Tevan and Ashton, the formers wooing Birdie and Fearne with temptations of indulgence while the latters drawing their attention by being subjects of intrigue, defiance and kindness, plus they saved the latters (Birdie literally via escaping the prisons and Fearne emotionally and literally), or before the Orym conversation when Ashton takes 'one last look' Taliesin looks towards Ashley last. But I knew there was poetic significance to Ashton failing the communication trial, Marisha sensed the vibe too, but even though Fearne was nervous about guiding Ashton, the fault fell to poor dice rolls (and Liam not keeping shtum and summoning thunderwasps) and once again Ashton in an attempt to prove themselves falls flat on their ass in front of the person they most want to prove it to. And that did break my heart a little I must admit because as poetic as it was who hasn't been there? Ashton's journey of proving themselves has been laden with failure too; being unable to protect anyone from Otohan led to them almost being TPK'd, being unable to keep the group together at the Malleus Key led to the group being scattered, and then Team Trauma's stuff - Orym was despondent and Laudna's a wreck, got a random 'shepherd's boy', a powerful Cobalt Soul teen prodding about the solstice and all of Deni$e here added as mainly combat support, loners but no leaders, Dawnfather angel thinks them insignificant, dark spirits trying to consume their only leads about the Hishari - and the moment Ashton started to trust Bor'dor after the pipe vision what happens? Betrayal, Hunger of the Shadow and Delilah is let back in, Ashton couldn't even keep Laudna safe from herself, they reunite, try to sort out their shit with their past, discover that they might have a destiny to fulfill and end up being too willing to die in place of others, and unable to protect their new family from themselves, because of these recent failures it was important that Ashton proved themselves in the trust trial.

And thankfully they did, there was no way to prove that anyone was a Doppelganger and yet, Ashton still trusted Fearne; twice saving her from the flora even when told to leave her behind. And they were close to another failure when the branch was snatched - after their attempts to keep it safe by throwing it in the pool alone - but they trusted Chet and Orym (father/son duo) to cover more ground while they helped Fearne. And even when FCG told Ashton 'I think it's Fearne', and when Imogen was untrusting of Fearne, Ashton abandoned their held action to save FCG from the brambles because they knew Fearne could be trusted. They trusted Imogen to connect to Ruidus and as mentioned endorsed Fearne to take the shard.

And sure, in my mental scenarios Ashton gives her the shard, doing the same she did for them, but I did say almost like how I imagined. And Ashton still did everything they could, plus Imogen comforted their visible worry, but once it's complete they're just in awe, and then their own spark awakens through her touch, a touch they were unafraid of even at the threat of newfound fire, and now for the first time ever they feel whole. She saved them, and now they finally feel complete, and now this time Fearne is agape, Fearne is in awe, and everything she had hoped Ashton would gain from taking the shard before has come to fruition through her, and it's just, joy, pure incorruptible joy, a kindred connection that belongs to just them. Plus a big piece of paper for all the new powers they are excited to learn about from each other, with each other, and while Matt can talk about there being risks to them because you gotta balance the combat the narrative significance is still there.

But dammit they need to kiss, I've yelled it enough times in my head; like the lava, the clock tower, before and after Fearne took the shard, the only times they did kiss was before the solstice (the forehead kiss) and the ziggurat and both preceded bad times, they deserve a proper one, not one at risk of being a goodbye, something precious, irreplaceable and theirs to have, to share. And I don't know if they should use the patented 'can I kiss you?' or take a tip from BeauYasha and use 'I wanna kiss you so bad right now' or find something else to make their own but I desire it so much, had it happened this ep I probably would've melted out of my seat. They're awkward and nervous but they gotta take the leap, Ashton needs to realise they're loved and maybe even be told that they deserve it even when they feel they don't, and Fearne has to take a risk too, the shard put doubt to her decisions but that doesn't mean she can run from her strong emotions. It doesn't fix everything of course, but sometimes people heal better together than apart. As a currently vorbed half-elf once said 'drink the courage first'.

Curiosity continues to send me after the ep, and while some people are attempting to blemish or rain on the parade (I mean, I try not to speak ill of other ships in general, but if you're gonna be negative about it you can at least do it in your lane, your tags not ours) I am still just riding the high of the possibilities. True, the unknown can make me nervous, and I will admit the group has to give Ashton and Fearne space (they're just excited, and with the bloody bridge hinting to be a final moon-based battle there is that sense of urgency) Imodna had nudges sure but they have been a bit heavy-handed and kinda chaperoned around them, Fearne and Ashton seldom get time alone, one can hope they can get that time with each other next episode.

[kinjomae]

GENSHIN OCS BE UPON YE . [ throws sand in your eyes and scurries off

INFO BOUT THESE losers

Kōji Fukumoto [ he / him ]

A maneki bakeneko! He exists to give kobans [ lucky coins on his wrists ] to those in need! He's done this job since he was 10, which is surprising given that he's only 5 years younger than Yae Miko. His eye is from an attempting kidnapping, which he is not fond about.

He's a pyro vision holder. His fire is actually blue [ due to being ghostly, ] which affected his vision quite a bit. He's fond of bells and uses them in his attacks. There's a rumor that, every time you hear bells in the distance, he is out and about, waiting for someone to find him.

Xue [ they / he ]

Half cryo abyss mage, half human. Xue does not remember how they came to be, only the abyss and leaving. They say that he found the mask and went through a terrifying transformation that resulted who he is today, but even then, they don't know if it is true or not.

They can wear the abyss mage mask in order to gain cryo abyss mage power, but if they wear it for too long [ 1 hour and 30 minutes is the maximum they can wear it, ] then they are unable to take off the mask by themselves and will slowly lose control over himself. He's a pretty nice person outside of that.

Esmee [ She / her ]

A small melusine who happened to travel too far from city and her village, which resulted in her being attacked. She was found by Dot [ friend's genshin oc ] and taken to Neuvillette, who dropped everything to help her. She's been by his side since, working under his orders directly.

She loves collecting little items for people she thinks are cool, and she loves to sing. Her legs were injured after the incident, so Neuvillette had to carry her around everywhere. She's recovering now at least, being able to walk around, as well as being able to run in short amounts.

extra doodles of them ^_^

thank you for listening

[madrone33]

Number 1 Rule of adapting the Odyssey into EPIC is: if it can be more dramatic, it will be more dramatic.

The Greeks decide to throw the infant Trojan prince from the walls because they're scared he'll try to avenge his family? No, Zeus comes down to personally give Odysseus a vision of being killed and says his family WILL die. Kill the baby that reminds you of your son right now, it's the gods will.

Odysseus goes to greet the inhabitants of an island and gets trapped in a cave for two days by the cyclops that's eating his men one by one? Nope, we got BOSS BATTLE 30v1 in the Ithacans' favour until BAM fourteen pancakes are made by Polyphemus' club and oh shit Polites is DEAD-

Athena is just vaugely absent for the whole journey until the end? We got emotionally charged platonic breakups instead, with yelling and insults and "well I'm breaking up with you FIRST!"

Smooth sailing to Ithaca? STOOOORM-

Odysseus' great-great-great-grandfather giving him a speed boost to help him on his way home? Get ready for trickster wind gods, mischievous winions, and a game that was rigged from the start.

Random-ass suspicious and greedy crew mates open the bag? It's Eurylochus, his second in command, his brother-in-law, the man he trusted, Eurylochus WHYYY

Parking in the wrong harbour and getting boulders thrown at the fleet by angry man-eating giants while Odysseus backs away veeery slowly? Nah Poseidon himself pulls up to dunk on them, and Odysseus has to make a last minute getaway using the power of STOOORM to avoid being curbstomped like his fleet.

Odysseus gets some stronger drugs from a god to make him immune to the other drugs of a goddess? Well these drugs actually give him magic powers which he uses to engage in a Pokémon/Yu-Gi-Oh style BOSS BATTLE!

Get some closure with dead loved ones and acquaintances, and be the first interviewer of the fallen heroes of past ages? Nope, we just got TRAUMA and a whole boatload of guilt!

A neat outline of what the rest of the journey will look like, a warning against an island of cows that will slow him down, and the way to appease Poseidon? This Tiresias just says "Y'know there used to be a world where you made it home, BUT I DON'T SEE IT NO MORE. IT'S GONE. IT'S OVER. Also, your palace is fucked."

Sailing past the sirens while getting to be the first mortal to hear their song and live? M U R D E R

Sailing past Scylla to avoid Charybdis and accidentally getting six men eaten because he thought he could totally take Scylla, even though Circe said he couldn't, and then he realised he, in fact, cannot take Scylla? ... Eurylochus, light up six torches.

Eurylochus waits till Odysseus is out hunting and then goes behind his back to mutinously rally the crew and feast on some sacred cattle? Betrayal on both sides, stabby stab, K.O., and then Odysseus helplessly watches them make the greatest mistake of their lives as they ignore his pleas.

Quick clean and easy lightning-strike to the ship, leaving Odysseus to cling to some driftwood and paddle away? Zeus himself appears to the mortals, monologues, makes Odysseus be the one to choose, and then smites the whole ship leaving Odysseus to nearly drown anyway.

Telemachus gets advice from a disguised Athena to yell at the suitors and then sail away to look for news of his missing father? Telemachus gets into a full on beatdown with the suitors and gets FIGHT CLUB TRAINING from Athena!

Athena goes "dad I want my favourite mortal back? Did you forget about him? I think you forgot about him" and Zeus instantly replies "nonsense. How could I have forgotten that funny little mortal? Of course you can have him back my sweet favoured child <3" and then Athena skips off to Ithaca? "Father please-" "LIGHTNING BOLT! ANOTHER LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT TO THE FACE HOW DARE YOU ASK ME OF SUCH A THING!"

Poseidon does a double take "wait they let him go?? Oh hell nah!" and then sends a giant fuck off storm for Odysseus to swim through until he reaches the Phaeacians? No, Poseidon's just been there on Ithaca's shores, waiting for eight years, now get in the water BITCH- except Odysseus is just like "oh yeah? Fucking FIGHT ME"

You thought the suitors in the Odyssey were bad? Jorge really just said "dial that shit up to ELEVEN"

[cookies-after-dark]

Okay this isn‘t smut but I just can‘t get the idea out of my head.

So if reader‘s in a relationship with both pv and shmilk, I‘d imagine that the servants are pretty left in the dark (unless they get involved like black sapphire). What if candy apple draws her own very incorrect conclusions from this, like she sees reader with shmilk one day, with pv the next and thinks that reader‘s cheating on shmilk? She totally doesn’t want shmilk to think better of her because she ‚exposed our lies’ or smth. Which I’m not sure how shmilk would react to that phrasing with his entire thing being deceit, but maybe she thinks he’d disapprove if he’s not in control of said lies.

Idk I‘m just giggling over the image of her trying to out us at some fancy meeting where everyone in the spire is present.

I-

additional tags: cheating (ends up being false), beast x ancient, gender neutral!reader

ships: pure vanilla cookie x reader x shadow milk cookie

Listen anon you are talking to THE NUMBER ONE CANDY APPLE COOKIE FAN and my lovely beautiful wife could never ever ever do anything wrong.

But she would do this. And since it's Candy Apple Cookie, this is not wrong.

She could accuse the reader of shoving three children off the Tower of Deceit and I'd give her an award. I absolutely love this ask because this is exactly something she would do.

And it's out of the goodness of her heart! Shadow Milk Cookie deserves better than shacking up with such baseless, cheating scum and she would like nothing better than to publicly out those doughbrains so that Shadow Milk Cookie could smite them on the spot! Then, no one would be inbetween her and her beloved Shadow Milk Cookie anymore~!!!!!

Except, she's met with a blank smile from Shadow Milk Cookie, Pure Vanilla Cookie is already preparing to help the sweet woman out and explain this as delicately as possible, and you just put it bluntly. No, it's all three of you together. No sneaking around.

Shadow Milk Cookie watches Candy Apple Cookie have a tantrum for like two seconds before he huffs and turns back to his partners, "Anyways. How's the weather?"

[dustmusings]

brightest in the dark

Crosshair x F!Reader

word count: 9.2k

description: when you get caught up in an inescapable cave-in, crosshair finds that some things are easier to confess when it feels like the end of the road

warnings/tags: angst for sure but not all the way through, crosshair is an angsty boy in a lot of ways, forced proximity, frenemies (?) to lovers — reader and cross have a strained relationship because of the aforementioned angstiness of the boy, perceived unrequited love, injury detail, blood & needles, jealous (and a bit insecure) crosshair, implied there might be something between hunter & reader (spoiler: there isn't), grumpy/sunshine kinda, reader is a medic (how original), reader is described as being a similar size to crosshair, some suggestive dialogue but nothing nsfw

a/n: I will make every clone yearn if it’s the last thing I do. sue me. also If anyone knows where I took the title from we can be best friends forever btw. and shoutout to @lonewolflupe for the ‘sky rodeo’ <3

masterlist | join my taglist | read on ao3

“Have you got your water bottle?”

Crosshair rolled his eyes, kicking off the side of the Marauder as you descended the ship’s stairs with an irritating pep in your step.

“Mm” he confirmed, taking a toothpick from his belt, already pre-empting a grinding jaw.

“Medkit?” you asked, stopping just next to him to secure the top of your knapsack.

Crosshair didn’t reply, he just gave you a sidelong glance of irritation, toothpick clenched between his teeth. You looked over to him, most likely upon realising he wasn’t going to answer, and deflated slightly at his expression.

“Crosshair, have you got your medkit?” you asked more pointedly, an edge of exasperation that made the edges of his lips quirk up marginally.

“Yes, I have” he mumbled out, turning away from you and catching Hunter’s glare as he walked in his direction.

Crosshair had to fight the urge to roll his eyes again, he already knew what he was going to say.

“She’s only trying to help” Hunter scolded him, “if I hear that you've given her a hard time—”

“Alright, I get it” Crosshair snapped, his gaze as sharp as his tongue.

Hunter gave him an unimpressed look, eyebrows raised and a sigh escaping his lips, “alright, try not to take too long, report back as soon as you've got a visual”

Crosshair didn't try to suppress his eye roll this time, “this isn’t my first sky rodeo, Hunter”

“I know, but—”

“You ready, Cross?”

Crosshair's head twinged to the side slightly as his eyes fluttered closed, his jaw grinding and teeth clamped together at the nickname. He'd pretend it was because he hated it, as he always did.

He didn't reply, instead stalking away from the two of you and off in the direction of your mission objective. He could hear the way your feet scurried to catch up with his long strides and huffed, gripping his helmet tightly at his side. He felt your eyes on him, running them over his armour, and it took everything within him to keep from meeting your gaze.

“How did you sleep last night?” you asked, making his jaw tick noticeably.

He knew you had recognised his poor sleeping habits of late, but he wasn't really in the mood to speak about it, especially as it had something to do with the fact that you'd started sleeping in Hunter's bunk. He wasn't sure why, but that was somehow even more torturous than knowing.

“Fine” he replied coldly, keeping his eyes ahead as the two of you followed the trail that lead down into the valley below.

You sighed, “Cross…”

“Don't call me that” he grumbled, no real bite behind the demand, “and I said fine, so drop it”

He saw your shoulders slump out of the corner of his eye and shook his head, disappointed in himself once again.

Truth be told, Crosshair was painfully enamoured by you. Smitten was a more appropriate description really. He certainly felt as if he had been smited by some cruel deity who deemed that his life was worth being made difficult. He bore it like an open wound that he tried to ignore, a mess that wasn't given the proper amount of care and attention, and bled into the way he treated you.

You’d always been too kind to Crosshair, far kinder than he deserved. As much as it was your job as a medic, you always took care of him in the same way as the others, even though they always treated you with a level of respect that he didn't. He wished everyday that he could take it all back, go back to the beginning and start over, let you know how much he appreciated you and your efforts, how his feelings had grown for you to the point where his chest ached every time your smile was directed at someone who wasn't him.

It made little sense, he knew that. He acted as if he didn't care whether you lived or died, but it was the fact that you didn't seem to care that made him continue to act that way. So he couldn't take it back after all, and maybe he wouldn't want to anyway, because how else could he get close to you? He knew that made little sense too, but very few things were clear to him when it came to you.

In any case, he'd go on suffering in silence, a suffering of his own making that he cursed himself everyday for.

You did have a friendship, of sorts. He wouldn't call it that, and would certainly never admit it, but you were insistent in trying to get him talking. The way it would play out often went along the lines of him teasing you, making fun of you, to see how far he could push you as a juvenile way of coping with the magnitude of his affections. It was the closest thing to affection he would allow himself. You often rebutted his teasing remarks with ones of your own, and as much as he appreciated you matching his attitude, he mostly wished that you wouldn't allow him to get away with it, that you would give him a reason to show how he truly felt about you.

Safe to say the opportunity hadn't arisen, and he wasn't crossing his fingers either.

This mission's objective was simple; go and scout ahead, and comm the others when it was safe for them to move out. Since your joining the group eight months ago, Crosshair had often been lumbered with you in situations such as this. As the sniper, he wasn't made for nor enjoyed close combat fighting, and as the medic with little combat training, it suited you to hang back until you were needed.

Thankfully, the terrain that you were traversing this time was straightforward, a narrow valley that brought you right up to a ridge that overlooked a separatist outpost. Although the area was simple to cut across, it only made the silence that stretched between you even more tense, with no buffer to distract either of you.

You kicked up dust into the air with the way you were dragging your feet, and Crosshair was half of the mind to replace his backpack with you just so he wouldn't have to hear the grating noise. Holding a datapad in hand, you tapped the screen, tracking the direction that the two of you were heading in.

“Two more klicks” you mumbled, cutting through the tension with all the effectiveness of a butter knife.

Crosshair grunted in reply, casting his eyes across the top of the valley as the two of you descended to the very bottom. His hand shot out, slamming against your abdomen and stopping you in your place.

“What is it?” you asked, your voice low as you saw the way his gaze skimmed the top of the valley.

Crosshair slowly reached back and took his firepuncher from his backpack, “we're being watched”

The moment the first blaster bolt flew, Crosshair grabbed your waist and pushed you behind him, bringing his blaster into position and picking off the sniper droids he could see. Each bolt found its mark, piercing the droids between their eyes.

“Find us some cover” he ordered as he shoved his helmet over his head, looking for incoming droids. He turned back the way you had come, blaster raised as he walked backwards. It was silent for a moment, the only thing he could hear being the gentle padding of your feet against the ground behind him.

“Crosshair, in here” he heard you call from not far away, and he gave one last look around the edge of the valley before turning and making his way towards your voice.

There was a small cavern at the base of the cliff, a hideaway cut from the rock, and it looked to have been used for shelter before. A small pile of logs indicated a fire, with stones outlining a pit of ashes, only just visible with the way the afternoon light shone in through the opening of the cave.

Crosshair squared himself with the wall of the cave to look outside, his back pressed against it as he followed the line of the cliff through his scope. He felt your presence next to him, your chin knocking against his spaulder as you peered over his shoulder. Your breath wafted over the sliver of skin between the top of his blacks and his helmet, and his breath hitched as the heat of it made his skin prickle.

“Stay” he muttered, stepping forwards to put some distance between you, and to make sure that it was safe to move again. He stepped out into the valley once more, his rifle raised and ready should he meet more adversaries.

It was eerily quiet, the whistling of the wind the most audible sound, carrying no others on it. Crosshair stalked around the base of the valley, making sure that no other droids were in the vicinity, and called for you to join him when he was sure.

“One moment” you muttered, “I think there's a stone in my boot”

Crosshair rolled his eyes, lifting his weapon to look through the scope and make extra sure that it was safe. He wandered around as he waited, his own boots softly crumbling the dirt beneath them, then came to a stop next to you after a few moments, watching as you buckled up your boot again.

You looked up at him and a small smile crossed your lips, but almost instantly dropped, as if you'd done something wrong, “let's go”

Crosshair felt his heart fall from his chest at the subtle action. The fact that you wouldn't even allow yourself to smile at him left a gaping hole through the middle of him, and he felt completely and utterly ashamed. He knew it was his own fault, he'd blame himself even if it wasn't, but he wasn't prepared for how the simple motion would bring his mettle to its knees.

As he was caught up in staring at you with an inscrutible expression, one that didn't give away even one ounce of the anguish he felt, a blast flew straight past him, and narrowly missed your arm. He pushed you back inside the cave on instinct, and whipped around to deal with the incoming attack, but upon seeing the increased amount of firepower now gunning for the two of you, he quickly followed you inside, picking off the droids towards the front of the formation as he walked backwards.

As the droids continued firing down at you, a blast lodged itself in the ledge above the opening to the cave. When the rocks there crumbled away, they seemed to focus all their fire above you. Crosshair didn't think about the immediate implications of it, he just kept knocking down what droids he could, but when you called out his name and grabbed his arm to pull him backwards, he understood.

The rocks came down almost in slow motion, but quick enough that the pair of you couldn't have made it out in time. Crosshair fell backwards as you tugged on his arm, stumbling and trying to find his footing before he was taken to the ground. In the scramble to get away, a rock snagged his shoulder, just between his cuirass and spaulder, and he released a deep grunt as it brought him to his knees with the impact.

For a moment it was quiet again, only the heavy sound of breathing being heard in the darkness of the cave. Crosshair kept his head down, trying to keep his breath even and cut out the pain from his wound, though it was quickly becoming apparent to him that his shoulder was not in any sort of good condition. He could feel blood tricking down his side, soaking through his blacks, and he felt himself becoming feint, his mind fuzzy and unfocused.

A light flicked on, shining directly at him, and he groaned again, the hand of his uninjured arm lifting to cover his eyes.

“Crosshair” your voice was a hoarse whisper, as if it had got caught in your throat, and it wasn't hard to guess why.

He slumped forwards slightly, his back hunching as he dug his knees further into the ground to distract from the pain.

“I know” he said quietly, not even having looked at the damage yet. He was far too concentrated on trying to ignore it.

The light flicked off with the click of a button, and he heard you shuffling around, your knapsack hitting the ground with a thud that told him you were moving quickly, your actions rushed. Soon after, a warmer light started growing, and Crosshair realised you had taken out a lamp, and were now dragging it over to him with a medkit in hand.

He looked up, the softer light not invading his vision in such a piercing way, and he could now see the worry in your eyes. His gut twisted, the uncomfortable feeling of guilt spreading through his body and only making his wound ache more. You knelt in front of him, ripping off his helmet before your hand gripped his spaulder and pulled it aside to get a proper look at the injury. The both of you sucked a breath through your teeth, Crosshair in pain and you no doubt because of how bad the damage was.

You got to work quickly, silently, and unclipped the top half of his armour to get better access. Crosshair was glad that you weren't talking, he was already embarassed enough, feeling infantile, crumpled to his knees and completely weak in front of you. He was powerless to do anything else, his head pounding and vision hazy as blood gushed from his wound.

“Hold this here” you said firmly, pushing a cloth into the wound and bringing him back to the present harshly, another pained noise leaving him.

He followed your instruction without much thought, and when he took the fabric from you to hold in place, he felt the way your hand was shaking. His eyes snapped up to yours, and the distress he saw written into your expression was enough to shock him back into full consciousness.

Crosshair watched your movements carefully, his keen eyes noticing every twitch and shiver as you fumbled with the syringe. He wanted to comfort you in any way he could, but truthfully, he didn't know how. It wasn't something he'd ever sought to do, and now faced with the challenge, he didn't know what would be the right thing to say.

“It's just a scratch” he mumbled, a small chuckle passing his lips in an attempt to at least alleviate some of the tension.

“A scratch?” you huffed, your voice disbelieving as you shot him a unimpressed look, “this isn't funny, Crosshair”

“Hey—”

“If I hadn't pulled you away you'd still be there. You'd be de—”

Crosshair called your name sternly, and you stopped your fiddling with the syringe to look up at him, “it's going to be fine, do you hear me?”

His voice was grave, and while he knew it wasn't necessarily a comforting tone, it was the best thing he could muster up with the panic steadily growing within him. Your eyes flicked between his, your shoulders relaxing slightly after a few seconds.

“Okay” you breathed out deeply, pressing your hand over his to hold the cloth tighter to the wound, “look to your right”

Crosshair could feel his pulse throbbing all over his body, the blood rushing through him and towards his wound, towards the hand that covered his and brought about such a reaction. Your skin was warm through the fabric of his glove, and he'd been so distracted by the touch that he barely registered when you had administered the pain relief injection into his neck.

You took your hand from his as you placed down the syringe, and then found the hem of his blacks, your fingers skimming along the edge, “I need to take this off, is that okay?”

“It's fine” Crosshair replied, taking the cloth away from his wound to allow you to continue.

You nodded once, and ran your palms across the skin of his abdomen as you peeled the body glove from him. Crosshair couldn't help the way his body shivered, the way his jaw clenched at the feel of your hands on his skin. His eyes locked with yours as you pulled the top up, warm knuckles brushing over him, and he let out a shuddering breath, trying to relax his mind. He groaned in pain, eyes screwing shut when he lifted his arm to help you take the shirt from his injured shoulder.

“I know, I know” you spoke soothingly, your voice measured and calm as you discarded the shirt, “I’m sorry”

“Don’t apologise” Crosshair hissed out, the pressure to his wound returning as you grabbed his hand once more and brought the cloth to his shoulder.

“Alright, here's what's going to happen now” you started, your hand still covering his as you held his attention, “I'm going to take this away and clean the wound first. It's going to hurt a lot, but it'll be over before you know it. Then I'm going to need to stitch it up”

“It's that bad huh?” Crosshair huffed a laugh, still not keen to look down at the wound, but he heard how strained his voice sounded in saying it.

“It's going to be fine” you assured him, and your fingers closed around his, gripping his hand tightly, “it'll only take a few minutes, and then it's just a matter of putting a bacta patch over it”

He breathed out deeply, his skin alight where yours was touching it, trying to remain as calm as possible.

“Alright, do it” he spoke, forcing his eyes away.

You gave his hand one last squeeze as you brought it away, and despite how it made his heart flutter, it wasn't enough to fight the stinging pain of the antiseptic spray.

As you cleaned out the gash, wiping away drying blood and dirt, you responded to Crosshairs groans and whimpers of pain with comforting words, telling him that it was almost over, and as much as he appreciated it, he only felt more embarrassed. In the lull between cleaning and stitches, he tried to take steadying breaths, but the antiseptic was still stinging at the open wound.

“Are you ready?” you asked quietly, and his eyes found yours again at the softness of your voice.

You held the curved needle in your hand, ready for whenever he said the word, and between his deep breaths and pounding head, he couldn't help but just sit and admire you for a moment too long.

“Do you want something to hold on to?”

“What?” he frowned.

“To grip, for the pain? or… something to bite down on?” you suggested.

“No, no” he dismissed, shaking his head.

“Okay, I'm going to start now” you informed him, and he nodded quickly.

As soon as the needle pierced his skin, Crosshair's hands shot out and gripped the fabric of your shirt, bunching it at your waist with the way his fingers tightened, his bones almost creaking beneath the pressure.

“Fuck” he breathed out, trying hard to keep himself in check, to distract himself by focusing on the rhythm of your breath.

“I know” you said gently, “you're doing well, just a couple more”

His head fell forwards, resting his forehead against your temple as you worked, and he instead found that he was losing himself in your presence. He could feel your breath against his cheek, steady and warm, where his was harsh and shallow. You continued to send comforting words his way, your sharp actions a direct contrast to your tone and sentiments. He focused on the sound on your voice, the scent of your hair, the soft fabric of your tunic between his fingers, and soon they began to loosen.

“There, all done” you pulled away from him as you put down the needle and peeled off the back of a bacta patch, and Crosshair had to catch himself from falling forward.

You placed the patch over the affected area, lightly running your fingers over the edges to press it into his skin, and he immediately felt the solution beginning to cool the flaming agony that stemmed from the gash. A breath left him, and he sat back on his heels more as his head tipped back in relief.

“Better?” you asked.

“Better” he replied, then looked down at you to see your worried expression taken over by something more unreadable.

You chuckled slightly as you tidied up the medkit, “don't worry, I'm not expecting a th—”

“Thank you" he spoke before you could finish, voice firm enough that your eyes snapped back up to his.

You cocked your head a little as you looked over his features, “well… you're welcome then”

Placing the medkit back in your knapsack, you produced a dark piece of fabric, handing it over to him. He looked at the black material clasped in your hand and realised you were offering him your spare blacks.

“That wont fit me” he nodded his head to the item of clothing, an unimpressed furrow in his brow.

He watched on as you frowned in return, then trailed your eyes down his chest and abdomen, no doubt sizing him up.

“We look about the same size”

Crosshair scoffed, “are you calling me skinny?”

“Are you calling me skinny?” you replied amusedly, one of your eyebrows raising in tandem with your lips.

He rolled his eyes, “whatever, hand them over”

He held out his hand, looking away from your irritatingly enraptured gaze, and you dropped the top into his hand. He threaded his arms through the top and the sleeves, going to pull it over his head until his shoulder cried out in protest, and another pained grunt escaped him. He tried again, but was met by the same results.

“Here, let me help y—”

“Don't touch me” he replied on instinct, his tone venomous in a way that made his insides coil tightly together with guilt. He could see the hurt in your eyes, a flicker of sadness that only made that nasty feeling inside of him pull taut.

Truthfully, he couldn't stand to have you touch him. If he hadn't been so woozy previously, he may have shrugged off your help with his wound as he usually did, telling you he could sort it himself. Now that he was in his right mind, there was no way he would let you anywhere near him. He didn't trust himself around you. He didn't think he could have you touch him and not do everything in his power to keep it that way.

Though, observing the hurt in your eyes, in the slight downturn of your lips, he felt he couldn't deny you anything in that moment. After a long silence, he sighed. “I'm sorry”

Without so much as a single word, your hands found the fabric of the top, and you gently pulled it over his head. Crosshair knew he didn't have to say anything, because as much as he wished you didn't, you knew him well, and could read him far more than he was comfortable with.

He kept his eyes trained on yours. So much of your emotions were given away by your eyes, and he felt that you didn't try very hard to hide them, not like he did. He admired you for that. You were so openly giving and sought connection with everyone, even him. Your eyes caught his as you pulled the top down over his chest.

A small smirk wound it's way onto your face, “don't worry, I won't tell the others you needed help dressing like a little boy”

Crosshair huffed, trying to disguise what was really a laugh as an unimpressed scoff.

“I'm going to try and contact them” you muttered, moving away from him to pull out your comm. “Hunter? Are you there?” you were met by static, nothing coming through the line.

You tried again a few more times, calling for Hunter to reply, and every time you said his name it was like a punch to the gut. The last time was so desperate, so soft and bordering on loving that Crosshair almost clamped his hands over his ears. He couldn't stand it.

He didn't want to feel resentful towards Hunter, he only had himself to blame for leaving the space for something to blossom between the two of you, and it didn't surprise him in the least. You were both generous in a similar way, looking out for others before yourself, and it made sense that you had gravitated towards each other.

He tried to push it from his mind, vaguely aware that you were sending a recorded message about what had happened. He was more focused on the intense need he had to escape this situation. He couldn't be trapped in here with you, it would be the end of him, he was sure.

You began trying to shift some rocks from the base of the mound they had fallen into, but it only caused a slide from the ones on top of it. You yelped as you sprang back, and a thin crack appeared, running along the ceiling of the cave. Crosshair just huffed and pushed himself off of the ground, going to continue on in your stead.

“I'm not sure that's—”

The same thing happened, the crack deepening and small rocks falling from the ceiling. Crosshair paid it no mind, but you insisted that he stopped, pleading with him when it only got worse, more rocks shifting unsteadily and falling down around you. Really, it was hurting him a lot, his shoulder calling out for him to stop much like you, but the prospect of being stuck in here struck him as far more painful.

You had always given back what Crosshair gave out for the most part, but with the tone of your voice, he could tell your patience was wearing thin. You were quickly losing your sense of humour, and you finally snapped.

“You know what Crosshair, I'm kriffing sick of you! If you want to go and get yourself killed, be my guest, I won't stop you”

Crosshair stopped what he was doing, turning to face you, “you don't mean that”

His tone was partly joking, partly serious, as he didn't know which end of the scale you were on at that point.

“I mean every word” you spat at him, far more angry than you'd ever been, and you grabbed the lamp, dragging it behind you as you walked away.

He watched you slide down the far wall of the cave, your arms wrapping around your knees as you brought them into your chest in a huff. For a moment Crosshair didn't know what to do, but he figured he wasn't going anywhere if you weren't onside, so he trudged over you slowly, not approaching quickly for how he didn't know what kind of reaction to expect.

“Go away” you muttered, your eyes staring ahead of you, hardened with a resolve to not engage with him.

“No” he replied petulantly.

“I'm not dealing with your shitty attitude right now” you gritted through your teeth, still not looking at him.

It seemed that his mistreatment of you had finally caught up to him, and made you snap, and Crosshair was almost scared of the uncharted territory that you were now in.

“Just get up and help me shift these rocks” he knocked his foot on yours, urging you to abide, but you didn’t move.

You were silent, and realised then that it looked as if you were shaking subtly, but it was hard to tell in the low light. He was worried about you, but he knew there wasn't anything he could say or do that would help. He crouched next to you with a small sigh.

“What's the matter with you?”

“The matter? Crosshair we're stuck in here!” you finally looked up at him, a scrunch in your nose that he couldn't help but find adorable, and he found himself wishing you would have snapped at him before.

“What? Are you scared?” he asked, his usual teasing tone making an appearance.

“Yes! I'm scared, alright?” you hissed, and he could see a flicker of fear in your stormy eyes, “I don't know why you aren't”

“I don't get scared” he replied quickly, a knee-jerk response.

You laughed humourlessly, rolling your eyes, “right, of course. I should've thought of that”

Crosshair could see he wasn't getting anywhere, so he took a seat next to you, his back to the wall, one knee bent to rest his forearm on.

“I can't believe I'm going to die trapped in here with you” you grumbled out.

A pang of hurt cut deep in Crosshair's chest, but he forced a dry chuckle past his lips, an instinctual reaction to deflect the pain. You didn't seem so amused.

“Hey” he said softly, and you turned your head to look over to him, “we're not going to die”

His voice was as soothing as he'd allow himself, and he hoped that it could bring you even a little reassurance. You seemed almost taken aback, your mouth hanging open a little as your eyebrows raised. You blinked at him, and then settled back into a frown.

“I'm not stupid Cross, there's no way to know whether we're going to get out of this or not” you spoke softly.

The nickname made his chest seize up, but he sighed, leaning his head back against the wall of the cave, “you're right”

He wasn't going to lie to you, you didn't need that, and it wouldn't fix anything about the predicament you found yourselves in.

For a little while, you sat in silence, save for a steady drip of water on the opposite side of the cave that Crosshair had failed to notice previously. Now, it was all he could focus on. It was a particularly grating noise, something irritatingly steadfast and unyielding about it, just existing in the same space as you, but doing a much better job at consistency than him. It felt like it was taunting him, mocking him, calling him a coward. Maybe he was already going crazy, but either way, he felt compelled to speak up, if only to try and drown it out.

“I'm sorry” he said quietly, almost a whisper.

You sighed deeply, deflating, “it's not your fault”

Crosshair shook his head though you didn't see it, “I mean, that you're stuck here with me. I know that you'd prefer if it was Hunter instead”

You looked over at him with a curious expression, one that he only saw for a split second before he had to turn away. He couldn't bring himself to look at you for whatever you were about to say.

“That's not exactly true” you said in a measured tone.

His gazed snapped up to you, and you were giving him one of those looks where you were trying to figure him out. He hated when you did that, you were so good at it after all. He sometimes felt that you could see right through him and into his very soul, but he sincerely hoped that wasn't the case, he couldn't think of anything more horrifying.

“I didn't mean what I said before” you murmured, turning your body towards him with a small smile, “you're a great end of the universe buddy really”

Crosshair rolled his eyes, “so you don't actually want me to die?”

“Of course I don't” your face softened with your tone, and he couldn’t believe that such a tender look could be directed at him, he could only think that he didn’t deserve it, “you just drive me up the wall sometimes”

His lips quirked into a small smirk on instinct, and then it was your turn to roll your eyes.

“No one enjoys winding me up as much as you” you muttered, drawing your knees back to your chest as a shudder wracked your body.

Crosshair cast his eyes over you at the action, realising that your medics robes were not as warm as the blacks you had packed for situations exactly like this. He thought that maybe if he was a better man he'd give the top back to you. That's what Hunter would do. Instead, he looked across the cave, to where the previous dwellers had made a makeshift fire. There wasn't much wood, but it would be better than nothing.

“You have a lighter in there?” he asked, motioning his hand towards your knapsack.

“Uh… yeah” you replied.

Crosshair pushed himself from the ground, only a small grunt leaving his lips as the bacta had already began healing his wound. He grabbed the bag and crouched down by the pile of wood, rifling through it to find the lighter which was rattling around at the bottom.

As he arranged the remaining pieces of wood into his preferred shape, you stood and walked over to retake your seat in front of the soon-to-be fire. He got it going quickly enough, lighting one of the smaller pieces and placing it into the structure he had built, but it was weak at best. It wasn't going to keep for more than a few hours with the resources available, and Crosshair was already worrying about what would happen then.

He looked over to where the opening of the cave had been. In the dim light he could see the crack that had appeared in the ceiling, and he felt his stomach twist into a tight knot upon observing how much worse it was already. He blew a long breath out, making the fire ahead of him flicker slightly more, before it settled into its previous dance. Crosshair couldn't hear the dripping anymore, not above the crackle of the fire, and it was a strange relief. Thank the maker for small mercies, he thought, inwardly scoffing at the sarcastic thought.

“Why haven't you been sleeping?”

The question caught him off guard, so buried deep in his own thoughts that he had almost jumped when you spoke up.

“I don't want to talk about it” he mumbled in reply.

You nodded, seemingly satisfied with the assertion, but he could tell something lingered in your mind at the way you watched the flames before you both.

“You've been in my dreams the past few nights” you said absentmindedly, eyes almost glazed over as you stared into the fire, little regard for how it made Crosshair’s heart skip several beats. Your eyes flicked up and met his, and he lifted an eyebrow, not sure how else to react. You chuckled slightly before you continued, “they weren't great dreams, really. Nightmares, maybe”

Crosshair could feel his insides constrict at the idea of him featuring in your nightmares, his heart beating faster as he willed himself not to react in any way.

“Go on”

He watched your throat bob as you swallowed, “well, it always starts with me being chased by a fire-breathing lizard… creature”

Crosshair couldn’t help the way the edges of his lips lifted a little, and he brought his hand up to scratch at his stubble to try and hide it.

“I can see you laughing at me” you scoffed, “it was scary at the time”

“I'm sure” Crosshair replied, still fighting a smirk.

“Whatever” you rolled your eyes, uncrossing you legs to stretch them out ahead of you so you faced the far wall of the cave.

Crosshair’s curiosity quickly got the better of him, “what was I doing there?”

You looked back over to him before turning your face back down to your feet where you gently kicked your heel into the ground, “it's… silly, really. Far fetched”

He frowned, “I'm listening”

You huffed, and he could see your cheeks darken as you deliberated over your next words, “you were protecting me. You had a durasteel sword and you were trying to slay the creature”

Crosshair’s eyebrows raised, but quickly shot back down at your earlier insinuation, “why's that so far fetched?”

You tilted your head to look at him, your own frown creasing your brow, “I don't know, it's not something you'd do in real life”

A pang of hurt sent a sharp pain through his chest. He could feel it, like a real, physical thing, a knife piercing through his heart. You truly believed that he didn't care for you in any way shape or form, and as much as he knew he had no right to feel slighted by it, it cut deep within him.

“Nice to know you think so little of me” he grumbled, pulling his knees up to his chest and tucking his chin behind them as he stared into the fire.

He could see your eyes go wide even as he refused to look at you, “I don't think little of you! I— I think you're… great, just—”

“Just what?” he snapped, eyes darting back up to yours.

“I don't know, I don't see you doing that for me”

Crosshair's frown only got deeper, and he forced himself to look away and into the fire again. All of the hurt and jealousy within him, every negative emotion he had brought upon himself by not being honest with you bubbled up to the surface, and he failed to keep it to himself.

“I feel like I've upset you” you said softly, but he just grunted in reply, “what is it?”

“You really think I wouldn't protect you?”

He knew that this was a path he didn't want to go down, one he wouldn't dare tread if both your lives didn't hang in the balance, but they did. He felt vulnerable, more vulnerable than he ever had or wanted to, and severely misjudged. Something about it made indignance rise up his throat and mingle with his words.

You paused, but spoke you mind after a moment, “not at the expense of yourself, no”

He grunted again, “well you're wrong”

“Why?”

“why?” he scoffed, shuffling his feet ucomfortably, “I'm not heartless, you know”

“I didn't say you were” you rebutted, and he finally looked up at you when you paused. You watched him carefully, “you would… put yourself in harm's way, for me?”

“Of course”

The shock was evident on your face, your mouth hanging open a little as you stared back at him, eyes wide and unblinking, and he knew instantly that he'd said too much, and that you didn't feel the same way for him. The worst part was, he understood. He knew that he'd given no reason for you to care for him in any real way past doing your duties as a medic, and any kindness you had offered him had been purely from the goodness of your heart, with no ulterior motives in consideration. All the same, it was frustrating. He was frustrated at himself.

His gaze dropped to the fire once more, and it felt as if it were stinging his eyes, but he soon realised that the sensation was actually brought forth by the tears that had collected in his waterline. He blinked them away, knowing that he couldn't, shouldn't cry, even if he had just come to the realisation that you would never see him the way he saw you, never admire him like that, never adore him like he wanted you to. It made him feel like a cadet again, surrounded by people who were supposed to be his brothers, but only feeling like something was wrong with him, that he was unwanted and unlovable for a reason that would forever elude him.

It was his fault. All his fault. He knew it, he’d always known it, and he'd have to live with it for as long as he knew you. It didn't make it any better to know it, it only made it worse. He wished he could blame it on you, make it easier for himself, displace all the blame and take this crushing weight from his shoulders, but he wouldn't wish this weight upon anyone else, much less you.

He didnt dare look up at you again, especially as you hadn't said anything. If the ground opened up and swallowed him whole in that moment he wouldn't have cared, or probably noticed.

“Do you think the others will be looking for us by now?” you asked softly after a little while.

“Doesn't matter, they won't find us” he grumbled back.

You huffed, “that's not very reassuring”

“Reassurance does nothing”

“Maybe not to you”

“No, not to me”

“Right” he could tell you had rolled your eyes, “you don't get scared, how could I forget”

“I am scared, just not for myself” He snapped, his tone sharp as he glared at you. He was feeling annoyed now, and not in the mood for joking in the slightest.

“What do you mean?”

He scoffed, his tone not matching his sentiment, “I'm scared for you. I don't want anything to happen to you”

You watched him from across the fire, tilting your head, and he had to look away.

“Why aren't you scared for yourself?” you asked.

Crosshair was reluctant to say, but you had no teasing in your tone, and admitting to the truth felt easier knowing that he might not make it out of this cave. He decided that he'd find a way to say what he wanted in as few words as possible.

“Because… if I die, I don't have to live without you”

Your eyes widened slowly, and he watched your mind work around the meaning of the words, the gears turning behind your eyes. He could feel the embarrassment clawing at his throat, begging him to stop speaking forever more. He didn't know why he would have said that, beyond it being true. You didn't need to know, it wouldn't help you, and it certainly didn't help him.

Then, you did something that he didn't expect at all. You rose from your place on the opposite side of the fire slowly, as if not to scare him, not that it worked. His eyes followed you as you made your way around, and retook your seat in the spot right next to him, so close that if he shifted his arm he’d be touching you. Then you put your head on his shoulder, looking into the fire.

“I'm scared for you too” You said quietly.

Crosshair didn’t know what was going on. His heart was beating out of his chest, only just managing to keep a hold of the rhythm of his breath as he watched you from so close. You had never been affectionate with him like this, and he was too plagued by confused thoughts spilling into his brain that he couldn’t fully enjoy it — enjoy the fact that you were in this proximity to him willingly.

“You're too careless with your life, you treat it like it doesn't matter. I don't like it” you spoke up again.

He didn’t know what to say.

“How should I treat it?” he asked quietly, his voice low.

“Like it's precious”

Crosshair took soft breath in automatically, taken aback by the simple admission, by how easily you had said it. He could only find it within himself to deflect the comment,

“It isn't precious, clones are expendable”

You raised your head from his shoulder to give him a stern look, “I know you don't believe that”

He shrugged. He could feel his cheeks scorching and he hated it more than anything. He hoped that the low light would save him from you noticing how your touch made him act. Peering into your eyes as you did to him, searching, your frown softened.

“Your life means a lot to me" you confessed in a whisper. Crosshair’s heart was trying to escape him now, and even more so when your face returned to being serious, “and I wouldn’t want you to risk it for me”

Crosshair matched your frown, drawing his brows together as the dots, the pieces of what you’d said, starting connecting.

“Do you think that's why I would protect you? Because I don't value my own life?” he asked, an irritate edge that made you draw back from him marginally.

“Yeah? I mean, why else…?”

He could have laughed, but instead he shook his head, “that’s not it”

He knew what he wanted to say really, but his mind fought to come up with something else, struggling to find the words to express every unsaid thing in a way that didn’t make him want to curl up in a ball and never speak again.

“It’s— I…” he trailed off, uncertain, “I value your life… more than anyone else’s”

Your eyes widened, and if he wasn’t mistaken, the corners of your lips lifted almost imperceptibly, “what do you mean?”

He rolled his eyes and looked away, “must I explain?”

“I'd like you to” you sounded small, and he looked back over to see that your eyes were wide, shining with hope. It filled him with such an uncommonly warm feeling that he couldn't possibly deny you an answer now.

“I…” he's flicked his eyes across your features, landing on your lips before finding your eyes again and sending you a somewhat pained look, “I can't— I don't know how to—”

You took his hand, rubbing your thumb across his knuckles and leaving goosebumps in your wake, “take your time”

Crosshair sighed, suddenly struck by how poor of an idea this was. He couldn’t help but dwell on the simple fact that you were far too good for him. He didn’t deserve someone like you, and he knew it. You were took kind, too patient, too far superior in emotional maturity and every other thing besides shooting a blaster for that matter. He didn’t believe that perfect people existed, but if there was anyone who reached the closest to those heights, it would be you.

“I… the way I treat you, it's not… right. and it's not a reflection of how I truly feel” he admitted.

You hummed, nodding as you focused your gaze on his palm, drawing shapes with your first finger, “and how do you feel?”

Crosshair was thankful that you weren’t looking at him, and knowing you, it was probably intentional. You knew what he was like, who he really was, and it was as startling as it was comforting. “I feel… a lot. You make me feel a lot”

You smiled, your thumbs tracing over his, “a lot of what?”

An exasperation began creeping on his mind. He knew you understood, you were smart, but you just wanted him to be the one to admit it. He could respect that, however hard he was finding it; you were finally not accepting his half-arsed attempt at affection.

“Happiness” he said finally, “you make me… happy”

Your eyes finally raised to his, giving him a curious look, he felt the need to continue.

“I know that I don't act like it, and I know that I certainly don't make you feel that way, and that you're interested in Hunter, so I'm under no impression that—”

“What?” your head tilted to the side, your expression portraying all of your confusion, “I'm not interested in Hunter”

“Oh” Crosshair sat completely still, just staring at you. He was sure he looked as confused as you did in that moment, but his heart still leapt in his chest all the same, “but… you were sleeping with him…?”

“He was just… I don't know” you sighed, wrapping his hand with yours, “when I had nightmares as a kid it used to help if I slept beside someone else. He noticed I wasn't sleeping well and offered some… comfort, I suppose”

Crosshair nodded, looking away and into the fire anyway, because he knew that Hunter would always be your first choice, and not him, even if it wasn’t in the way he had originally thought.

“But it didn't really help anyway” you said, “I suppose maybe I was sleeping next to the… wrong person?”

When he glanced back to you, there was something more reserved about your demeanour. You were never usually shy, sometimes quiet, but this was something that he hadn’t seen from you before.

“You're right, by the way” you noted, and he raised an eyebrow, “you haven't always made me feel very happy”

He offered a pitiful look, “I'm sorry”

“I know you are, and I don't forgive you for all of it, but I know you, and I know that you don't really mean it. And— well, the reality is…” you rambled out, finally pausing for a breath, or to muster your courage, “you also make me feel alive”

Crosshair’s brows shot up.

The entire atmosphere around the two of you changed, the air between you charged with unspoken words, energy waiting, begging to dissipate. Your free hand reached for his face, and you ran your thumb along the lines of his tattoo that followed his cheekbone. His eyes closed momentarily, a shaky breath leaving his slightly parted lips, and he gave into the moment, focusing on the feel of your fingers caressing his face.

Allowing himself to revel in your touch, appreciate it rather than trying to avoid it, he was ready to crumble into nothing. He could have, and he would have died a happy man, his last moment being in the embrace of your calming presence. Your hand found its place on his jaw, and he opened his eyes once more. He copied you, his hand reaching for your face and taking it tentatively within his grasp. Your skin was soft, ever so soft, and his thumb slid across your cheek with ease.

He felt so vulnerable in that moment, but he just didn’t care anymore. He felt safe with you, and for once he didn’t want to act like a wounded child about his feelings for you. He wanted to show you how strongly he truly felt, the beginnings of making up for the way he had treated you in the past.

Without another second to spare, he tugged on the hand that still clutched his, pulling you towards him, and his lips met yours with an ardency that surprised even him. His arms wrapped around you as he kissed you deeply, holding your body tightly to his, unwilling to let you slip away from him. He was stealing the very air from your lungs, giving you everything he had to offer, and you were taking everything in kind. You were trying your best to keep up, mostly succeeding, but eventually you had to break the kiss, almost gasping for air.

Your breath was heavy against his lips as he kept you in close proximity, and when your eyes met his, a small chuckle left you, bordering on a giggle. He pulled you flush against him, so you rested in his lap, and your face lit up even more. Crosshair felt like he was walking on air, and when you kissed him again, leaning all of your weight into it, he couldn’t help but smile against your lips. The kiss grew more heated gradually, and before he knew it, you were tugging at the blacks you had given him.

He shook his head, pulling away before you could get the wrong impression, “not here”

“Why not?” you frowned playfully, your hands slipping beneath the top and brushing against his skin.

Crosshair growled quietly as you attached your lips to his neck, making his next sentence hard to get out, “because I have more respect for you than to take you on the dirty floor of a cave”

You chuckled against his skin, pulling back to give him a genuine smile, but then it faltered, and he watched a thousand emotions flick across your face in the space of a second. He gripped you tighter, about to ask what was wrong, but you beat him to it with your answer.

“What if this is the only time we have?”

Crosshair knew you meant more than something as fleeting as a shared intimacy, and with the look on your face, he immediacy began to understand why people lied to others in the name of sparing their feelings.

He pushed his forehead into yours gently, “the others will find us”

Your lips turned down in a dubious expression, “but how are they going to get us out?”

For that, he didn’t have an answer. He brought a hand to your face, taking your jaw and hoping his actions brought some comfort, “I don’t know, but I’m not letting you die in here”

“Even you don’t have that power” you huffed.

Even you. The words hung in Crosshair’s mind, front and centre, meaning a lot more to him than you probably realised. It seemed that you were saying, even him, someone who could do almost anything, couldn’t do this. He realised then that you must think a lot more of him than he ever knew, and his heart almost seized up in his chest.

He let a small grin wind it’s way onto his face, “sure I do”

You gave him a lopsided grin, rolling your eyes as you buried your face in his neck, “yeah, yeah. Whatever you say”

As it promised to be, getting out was difficult. The others eventually came for you and Crosshair, by which point he had almost accepted that this was it, that he’d shared his final moments with you. That wasn’t enough anymore, it wasn’t a sufficient amount of time spent with you, and when he heard Hunter call for him, his need to get out was stoked. Tech had found that the rock on the other side of the cavern held a cave system, Wrecker had set a number of charges with a limited blast radius, and they pulled the two of you out from the other side.

But all of it was inconsequential, unimportant in the face of what had happened while you were still trapped. Even more so now that Crosshair held your body tightly to his, his arm wrapped around your waist as the fresh scent of your soap invaded his senses and no doubt began clinging to his bedsheets. He hadn’t let the others ask why he was suddenly being so clingy to you, but something about their smirks and knowing looks told him that he had only been fooling himself in not telling you how he felt.

You laid on his chest, careful not to rest against his wound, which you had treated properly upon returning to the ship. You had insisted it was the first thing you did, before anything else, and he wasn’t going to argue with you then, not when you frowned at him in a way that made his chest tighten. The trade off was that he got to join you in the shower afterwards. It hadn’t taken too much convincing.

Now with you in his arms, your light breath fanning his bare chest, he knew he wasn’t ever going to let you go. He’d spent too long trying to push you away, but now that he had you, you weren’t going anywhere, he’d make sure of it.

taglist: @darthnihila @cdblake1565 @heidnspeak @burningnerdchild @orangez3st @clones-cyare

[oddyseye]

I cannot stand the idea of Athena and Odysseus as a couple.

It's disgusting, it's weird, and honestly, it's the biggest insult to brain cells since mortals started thinking they could sail without checking the stars. But — and this is a big, glorious, golden but — the headcannon of every other Olympian thinks they’re lovers? That’s comedy gold. Athena, the eternal virgin, the impenetrable fortress of logic, brought low by the rumor mill of her own family. Hera: Alright, Athena, let’s talk about the wedding. So, for the dress—or should we go with a suit? Athena: Wait, what? Wedding? Who’s talking about a wedding? Hera: Oh, don’t play coy. You and Odysseus? It’s practically written in the stars. I’m thinking something classic, maybe a gown— Athena: Married?! I’m not marrying anyone! Hera: You can’t hide it forever, darling. A goddess like you deserves a big, beautiful wedding. Athena: Wedding? Hera, what in Olympus are you talking about? I’m not marrying anyone, let alone Odysseus! Zeus: She’s right, Hera. This is ridiculous. Athena marrying Odysseus? Over my dead lightning bolt. Hera: Zeus. Zeus: Uh… or… or maybe it’s a great idea? Love is beautiful. Yes, beautiful. Proceed. Athena: WHAT?! I’m not even in a relationship! Odysseus is a mortal man, and I see him as a son! A son! Aphrodite: Oh, spare us the dramatics, Athena. Everyone knows you’ve got a soft spot for him. You’ve been “mentoring” him for how long now? Athena: He’s my student, Aphrodite. I teach him. That’s it. Poseidon: I hate Odysseus. And I hate you for even considering this. But if you’re hell-bent on it, I suppose it’s your disaster to manage. Athena: I am not considering this! I— Dionysus: I’m here for whatever, as long as there’s wine. Athena, if you’re going through with this, I’ll make sure the reception’s lit. Athena: Dionysus, I am NOT getting married! Stop encouraging this! Dionysus: Hey, I’m just offering a little fun. You’ll need it after dealing with that guy. Right, cutie? Apollo: We are NOT friends, do NOT talk to me. Hermes: Athena, come on, you don’t want to marry a mortal? This mortal? You’ve spent so much time with him. Maybe you’re just too proud to admit it. Athena: Hermes, I will smite you where you stand— Hestia: Everyone, calm down. Athena, they’re just teasing you. But if you ever did want to settle down, it’s not the worst thing. Athena: It is the worst thing. This conversation is the worst thing. Hades: Marriage isn’t so bad. Persephone and I have made it work. Persephone: Exactly. And that mortal of yours is resourceful. That’s not a bad trait to have in a partner. Athena: He is not my partner! He’s a mortal — a mortal that I’m mentoring! Demeter: Mentoring. Sure. You keep telling yourself that. Athena: Demeter, don’t start. I mean it. Artemis: I don’t see why she has to marry anyone. Athena, I’m with you. Stay single. Keep your dignity. Athena: Thank you, Artemis. Artemis: But if you did marry him, it wouldn’t be the worst thing. He is brave. Athena: Artemis?! Zeus:....I still think this is a terrible idea… Hera: Zeus, sighing: Fine. I love it. Best idea ever. Carry on. Ares: He has to fight me to prove his worth! Athena: This conversation is over. Athena can’t even walk into the room without someone winking at her or asking how “her mortal boy toy” is doing. Zeus, king of being gross, looking genuinely scandalized for once. Hera planning her “totally hypothetical” wedding. What really gets me, though, is the idea that none of them even care about her protests. She could swear on the River Styx that she sees Odysseus as a son, and they’d still be like, “Sure, sweetie. Your son.” Meanwhile, she’s losing her helmet over it, and it’s just... chef’s kiss. Peak entertainment. I hate the ship, but I love the chaos.

[tragic-ships-tournament]

Tragic Ships Tournament Round 1

NOTE: INCREDIBLE JMART ART FROM @q-isthebestletter!

Propaganda under the cut!

Tenrose:

"Oh my god they're so. ugh. they mean literally everything to me. From the wiki: 'They frequently bring out the best in each other, supporting and uplifting the other person, comforting them, and sometimes just acting totally giddy to be in each other's presence. They both display their trust in the other person's capabilities on numerous occasions, and seem uncommonly matched.' HOW CUTE IS THAT 😭😭😭😭 . BRO HE LITERALLY SAYS I LOVE YOU TO HER AND THEN FLIES AWAY. OH MY GOD. BEING THE DOCTOR PREVENTS HIM FROM MAKING ACTUAL CONNECTION BUT THAT DOESNT STOP MY BOI. OGH AND ALSO " “I made my choice a long time ago. I'm never gonna leave you.” ROSE WTF"

Jmart:

"Martin thinks it's hot when Jon smites the horrors. He wants them to 'get their murder on.' Get yourself a man that supports your murderous tendencies."

bonus propaganda because that one was so short: "they literally had me sobbing on my kitchen floor. idk what else to say, man 😭"

[vodkade]

— hey ! nice to meet ya , call me ricky , leon , or as most of you know me , vodkade ! i am a man so yeah . he / him or i'll hurt myself

♤ — first of all , i do not agree with the actions of any perpetrators mentioned on my page . ( crazy to say after two blinkies saying i'm a fan of harris and klebold , i know ) in fact , i make fun of them often . don't bring me the " they were people too ! " shit because i actually don't care ( unless it's time to b serious ) . different story for the victims , i don't fw making fun of the victims .

♡ — i'm big into tcc . don't even joke lad . my current hyperfixation is homestuck though can someone smite me . anyway i also like resident evil , minecraft , the walking dead , bluey , the sims 4 , call of duty ( modern warfare , black ops , && ghosts mostly ) , icp , msi , one direction , markiplier , jacksepticeye , family guy , criminal minds , the outsiders , fnaf + more i can't think of don't put me on the spot next time asshole

♧ — ship and let ship . that's all i'm gonna say here idk

◇ — i am an age regressor and my sideblog 4 that is @sillybluesocks . please don't be weird ovr there and if it isn't your cup of tea js don't interact . preciate it . i plan on making an intro post there too eventually

dni ;

if anything on your own dni list applies to me , remember that dni goes both ways . pedophiles , zoophiles also dni i don't like you much .

tags ;

vodkade's arcade 🗣 — general stupidity and yapping

vodkade sims — the sims 4 content ( i KNOW i've been slacking leave me alone )

moots i'd give a friendly high five ;

@philomelek @ericsawesomebombs @erictuah @slayereb @rebbiaspenis @nekrosmantiks4countsofhomicide @publicthre4t @legallynotslantos AND MORE . but there are soooo many and i'm real lazy i barely even wanna make an intro post thanks

p.s. this is my first intro post ever so you have to be kind

[urautismdiagnosis-wistie]

Kwazii And Tweak Dynamic Headcanons

<rough sketch sorry lol>

@traumatizedartist

They are ✨SIBLINGS✨ to me-

EDIT: I forgot to mention that I'm 1000% sure neither one remembers to do their laundry all the time so they totally steal eachothers clothes 😭

The big sister of thr octopod and our tiny daredevil gremlin?!!

cmon yall remember the earlier seasons though 🥺 hed crash a gup or sneak out in the middle of the night drive the gup b (and she always woke up whenever he left she has that rabbit hearing)- she has the Big Sister Authority, she just let's you use the gups 😔🙏 u better be grateful kwazii

Him KNOWING he'd be in so much trouble when he snuck out to *try* to teach shellington to drive-

(They canoncially ended up both crashing after shellington imitated kwazii CRASHING and then shellie was like "owh no! We should call tweak :o"

and kwazii immeditaly yelled out NO-i I i mean we can do it ourselves! Its fine! <:] no need to tell tweak matie"

Not to mention he looks up to her and calls her a genius???

Tweak loves this little guy and his antics though 😭 she loves to see him happy but she's really the type to either encourage the mischief (like girl we all know u did not need to make flying fish mode really ans truly u did that for the silly cat) or be the one yo get him into trouble 😭

He def doesn't crash the gups like before, but I feel like at a certain point she absolutely made him help her. I headcanon that he actually started helping her alot more with repairs and etc as time went on, hes not some engineering genius but he can help

They're also both so proud of eachother and trust eachother so deeply, esp in The Ring Of Fire where they both had to escape the flooded (and on fire???) Underwater base that tweak used for big gup repairs and upkeep

Tweak loves old classic games and kwazii never really had too much exposure to popular media, unless u count his comics lol, I feel like autism meets adhd with them yk? U can't convince me that tweak wouldn't have introduced him to sonic the hedgehog and that he wouldn't have LOVED it

They have banter and inside jokes and they know eachothers habits and needs yk?

They look out for eachother, whether its trying to prevent the other (kwazii cough cough) from getting into trouble or being the one willing to risk their own safety to make sure the other is ok 🥺

Also for my own au kwazii did spend a considerable amount of his teen years alone, meanwhile tweak just has the autism where u do not know how to "live normally and properly take care of urself"

They both have atrocious sleep schedules me thinks, with kwaziis adhd making him be up at random hours and tweak falling deep into the rabbit hole (pun INTENDED)of engineering and working

I think he helps remind her to take care of herself without any judgement you know

Tweak is the type of person to not judge anyone either and just hear you out i think and kwazii seems like the type who would go waddle in a seamp for hours to dig out the necklace you lost just so u could be happy

So yes they love eachother and they mean the world to me 🥺

Kwazii is just so excited about everything this woman does lol, and she's like oh God this guy really is somethin and I think thats great

Shes just like sure hun to him yapping for 3 + hours about his idea to add fcking canons or some sht to the gups as she's welding stuff together

Also I think kwazii would be a decent mechanic for the gups after all the years of practice with tweaks supervision and teaching i mean he has whole mini pirate ship replicas in jars for crying out loud, as long as he can keep his brain engaged i think he has the ability to do precision work and repairs, esp since he did sail on his own by himself for years anyways

Woods pretty different from metal but tweak is patient with him, even if her "oh u fcked up" glare (and the weight of its consequences) could absolutely smite you on the spot

I might be forgetting some stuff but yall see the vision right, but lmk yalls headcanons n all that lol

ALSO ANY CULTURAL HEADCANONS I HAVE ABOUT TWEAK IS OBJECTIVELY CORRECT CUZ IM FROM THERE TOO ( I'm joking lol people can have different opinions duh, but fr i just i feel connected to her in my soul 🥺)

(Like girlie kwaziis room is better than yours, why the fck don't u have a dresser but instead just a whole *ss kitchen table? Not bed frame, no decent lighting, repair parts on your floor its a mess- like i feel you tweak I've been there, but bbg its been years and im sure the other crew members have talked to u about this, atp its a CHOICE and honestly continueing to live like that is real)

[anniflamma]

Since my last ask I managed to see your contribution to thunder bringer, and your version of Zeus surprised me since before you gave him white hair and a big beard.

But that version make a lot of sense actually, it really show how he's the youngest of the children of Kronos and Rhea, he's the king of the gods because of his power, not his age.

And the sadistic joy on his face as he was gone smite the crew and ship? Chief kiss that was beautiful! It make me look forward all the more to how thunder bringer in full would look like with your art style!

It's true, making Zeus look younger makes sense!

The whole thing about Zeus being the youngest and still being king is really interesting from a theological standpoint. Now I'm going to drown you with some random info XD

I have a fun idea why Zeus looks much older than his older siblings. The first reason is the most obvious one, that is the most iconic way to depict him. With floofy beard and all! But I also have another different reason too, and it's based on a historical theologian (I don't remember their name). It was an interpretation of why Zeus, the youngest one, could take the throne. We know from one of the myths that it’s because the three gods drew lots and Zeus won, which is a pretty fun reason, to be honest. But this theologian talked about the symbolism of Kronos vomiting out the older siblings. That act could represent the siblings being born again. The siblings order was something like Hades, Hestia, Poseidon, Demeter, Hera, and lastly Zeus. But when Kronos vomits them out, they come out in that order but backward, making Zeus the oldest and Hades the youngest.

I have some rough design drawings of Hades, and he looks much leaner and younger compared to Poseidon and Zeus. Yes, he is the oldest, but he is also the "little brother" at the same time. It’s a very weird take that has been stuck with me for a long time.

[aste-te05]

Uncommon Interactions

A Knockout x human reader fic (prequel to my last one)

Wheeljack was unlike any other bot you’ve met in your life. He was charismatic, funny, charming, everything that would make a lady swoon and buckle at the knees. The mech could literally have any girl he wished but somehow in some fucked up way of the universe, he wanted you. You weren’t too close to him (surprisingly since he was your guardian for the duration) but your brief interactions were short and sweet nonetheless, lately however, there’s been a certain tone to the way he talks to you. The way he tries to maneuver the short drive home into a longer car ride to who knows where. And the way he looks at you, god the way he looks at you, makes you freeze in your tracks. You’re a deer in headlights, but not because you’ve succumbed to Wheeljacks ambition, but because you don’t welcome it. Whenever those blue eyes meet yours it’s like a wolf trying to initiate an attack plan, he would do everything in his power to include you in the activity or conversation, what once could’ve blossomed into a good and genuine friendship, is now just a mess of uncomfortable situations and uneasy feelings. And you hated it. The whole premise of having a guardian is so you humans can have a shield, a sense of protection. He didn’t give you any of those things, especially when you try and make it clear you don’t want anything to do with him, which results in Wheeljack angrily lumbering to his ship and refusing to make presence in the base for however long he feels like. Leaving you to find others way home or just plainly asking Ratchet to bridge you home to your own doorstep.

“A bot saves you once and suddenly you owe them the universe” you tell June, who has taken up the place as your personal diary since she was the only other adult you entrusted to know of such things like this.

You’re both staring off into the Nevada desert on the base’s viewpoint, the sun is slowly gliding down casting a radiant golden sunset, painting the sky a beautiful array of colors. It’s a place of refuge for you two. For June it’s space from Jack and his eagerness to keep his mom safe, for you it’s where you find your tranquility. Away from the ongoing war and death. And it’s also where you two can gossip about whatever or whomever you want without the smiteful ears of children or Autobots abound.

She looks at you cautiously, probably choosing what she wants to say. To your dismay, she lets out an anticipated sigh and begins shaking her head.

“This sounds like a problem, have you tried just saying no though?” You look at her deadpan, and slowly nod your head. She’s exasperated and starts rubbing her temples.

“Then he’s just going to have to learn the hard way. I’d say just avoid him but that’s not a very viable option, and plus he’s your guardian. Maybe try to ward him off by mentioning someone else-? It used to always work with me when I started up dating after my husband passed. Some guys were just- too much for me.” She says, slightly shivering at the brief thought of her dating history.

You pause before giving her a slight shrug, and turning away to not meet her piercing gaze, which to your chagrin she catches onto at almost lightning fast speed.

“Is there… someone else…?” Your lack of an answer makes her gasp as you feel her swiftly grasping your shoulders to make you face her, you continue to avoid her eyes.

“WHO!?” She half-shouts, causing you to wince slightly where you sit.

“I don’t think you’ll really like the answer June” you say. You’re discouraged, ashamed even, realizing that whatever you say to her may be a bit inappropriate for the conversation being held. It could even count as a betrayal to the friendship you have with the Autobots, with which makes you sad to think about. You wish to be anything but a traitor, unfortunately, the heart wants what it can’t have sometimes. Even if it’s bad.

“Hey, look around-“ she says spreading both her arms wide in the open air, “- there’s no one here but me. I promise whatever you have to say will stay between us, judgement free.”

Looking up at her, you cringe slightly as you anticipate her reaction.

“It’s Knockout.” You finally say.

There’s an overwhelming silence that falls between you two as June continues to stare at you flabbergasted. A storm threatens to expand inside of your body as every second without words makes you realize how much you wish to drown in your embarrassment.

Mouth agape, June begins to at least try and wrap her head around what you just confessed. “Knockout? Like the-“

“Yes, the Decepticon, Knockout. The one that played that fucked up version of hide and seek with you, and also the one that stayed with me until help arrived during the cave in a few weeks back.” You put your knees up to your chest, feeling the wind pick up as it gives you a cool feeling of relief. You finally got out your confession, and you’re okay with that fact.

But will June be okay? Or will she feel like the friend she has just backstabbed her at their own volition.

“There’s not much I can say, but if it’s what makes Wheeljack back off, and if it’s what makes you happy, maybe it could still be for the best. There’s nothing a man hates more than another man after all.” She smirks in your direction, which causes you to feel a sense of relief. That maybe she won’t see you as an enemy after all.

“Maybe one day, I’m not sure if I want all that out in the open yet.” You say as you awkwardly scratch the back of your head.

“Well I’ll be here til you’re ready. Although I admit that was quite the drop of a bombshell. Definitely not what I would’ve ever expected to hear” You both continue to slightly giggle, letting a more softer silence settle, as the Nevada sun finally sets, and you both begin to watch in awe as stars dance in the night sky.

シ

“You seem peppier than normal today” you hear your guardian comment through the radio, which echoes throughout the interior of the vehicle.

You notice he’s finally coming up on the single dirt road leading to your house, as you proceed to just plainly shrug at him in silence.

“I got to talk with June for a little bit, of course I’m happy Wheeljack, she’s my friend” he turns down the street and as your house comes into view, he lets out a simple huh and comes to a full stop at the end of your driveway. The door comes to an open and you proceed to step out, giving Wheeljack a soft goodbye and continuing to walk up the steps onto the porch. Listening to the sound of his engine grow ever so faint until all you can hear is the crickets and deafening silence of the night.

As you unlock your front door you’re welcomed by the smell of burnt candles and cinnamon. Slipping out of the confinement of your shoes, you’re drawn to the comfort of your couch and the huge blanket draped over it. Settling into the comfy seats you set the blanket over atop your minuscule frame and grab for a remote to switch the TV on, continuously clicking through the tv shows and movie options until you finally settle on one you can see yourself falling asleep to. As the program plays, you get comfy in your makeshift nest and your eyes start to get heavy, your relieved when exhaustion finally takes over you as you’re slipped into the warm arms of sleep, wrapping you in its generous embrace.

The rev of an engine wakes you up from your graceful slumber.

What the hell?

Convinced that it must be drag racers taking advantage of the one way road, you rush to your window to close the curtains, hoping that they’d help drown out the sound. You glance out the glass and freeze. Your hold on the sheets tightens ever so slightly as you’re greeted by the sight of a familiar red Aston Martin burning rubber in your own driveway. The headlights begin to flash in a frenzy, and you continue to be blinded as you rush to the front door as light floods into the house, tripping over the shoes that litter the entrance way you make an attempt to fumble with the doorknob, eventually getting the door open and basically tripping down the stairs, and gracefully landing onto the hard cold concrete of your driveway.

Picking yourself up, you rush to the car in a panic as the revving finally stops.

“What are you doing!?” You shout. The vehicle remains silent before its passenger door opens. A smooth voice speaks to you, one you’re too familiar with.

“Get in.” He demands.

“What?” You’re shocked by the harshness of his tone, and even more shocked that he knows where you live and has decided to turn up here… on your driveway… waking you from a damn good nap along with it.

“I said get in, don’t dally on me, I’m not willing to play games with you right now.” He continues.

Autopilot has been turned on as fear floods you, millions of thoughts race through your mind as you’re scared for for your life, but step inside of Knockouts interior nonetheless. He’s bigger and stronger than you, what other option is there in this situation. You’re surprised to find the leather seats warm and the vents blasting cool air in your face, a brass contrast to the warm summer nights you’re used to experiencing. The door slams closed causing you to subtly jump, you’re shaking in non existent boots as the door lock is switched on, meaning there’s no way out of what you got yourself into. Wasting no time, Knockout straps the seatbelt over your body, firm and tight. To your horror, your ear recognizes the sound of it locking as well. Frantically, you try to click the button but to no avail it remains still strapped onto you, turning to the door you attempt to reach the doorknob when Knockouts voice fills your ears, slightly shaking you out of your panic.

“Don’t do anything. I’m not going to hurt you I just ask you remain calm. This isn’t a kidnapping so sit back and enjoy the ride.” You hear a slight smirk in his voice as he backs out of the driveway with a sudden force speeding down the unlit road.

The ride is filled with a deafening tone of fear and panic as all you can do is watch the scenery go by, you wonder where he was taking you, more so what he wanted from you as well. Many thoughts are swimming in your mind, sweat is dripping from your forehead and you feel your heart continuously pounding in your chest. It’s erratic, and for a moment you think your way of dying will be the cause of a heart attack.

Who gets inside their kidnappers car so willingly? Is all you can think of.

You feel stupid, you should’ve figured that him acting nice to you could just be his way of getting to the base, to find crippling evidence about the autobots that he might get the chance to use in the future. But a part of you wants to believe he can be genuine. And that, just maybe… the gods can possibly be on your side with this one.

“You’re quiet” his voice speaks out of no where, and it causes you to slightly jolt.

“I’m scared…“ you mumble under your breath.

“Don’t be, just try and enjoy the ride like I said” he says rather matter of factly. Your attention is drawn out to the window as you let his words settle, admiring the night sky gives you a slight sense of ease, as you look at all the dead stars and twinkling lights.

“Why’d you bring me out here Knockout? How’d you even find out where I live!?” You ask after a moment of intense silence. Questions are burning to be answered, to your relief, he finally gives them to you after about ten minutes of nothing.

“I’ve done a lot of research on you specifically human, I’m one to know a lot of things you wouldn’t think I’d be aware of knowing about a being such as yourself. You intrigue me you know, which I believe I’ve mentioned once before, back when we got stuck together in that blasted cave.” You think back on it. His words ring true in your ears as he continues. “I find your appreciative nature to be something I admire, your presence has driven a calming sense into me. A feeling I have not felt since… my partner” he stops speaking then, you believe it’s just him grieving, letting the sadness flood into him. A feeling that you’re all too familiar with. Breakdown… oh breakdown.. Memories swim into you as you’re reminded of MECH and the torture they put onto the unfortunate bot. It hasn’t occurred to you that Knockout might have been affected poorly since then. Until a few months ago, due to your heavily poor judgement, you were sure that bots couldn’t feel emotions at all.

You intake a sharp breath, hoping what you say next will sound genuine enough to soften the robots metaphorical shield he’s accustomed to. “Well I’m glad I can give that to you Knockout… i really do.” There’s almost a smile you can hear in his voice as he chuckles. “I gladly accept it human, I’ve actually been hoping to relay to you about some information that might be something of importance to me, I’ve been pining over it for some time, but if it makes you uneasy or uncomfortable I’ll gladly wait until you can relax to take what I have to say at full value” this intrigues you at most. You want to know what he has to say, but a part of you doesn’t. A part of you is scared of what he might tell you since his tone makes you believe it’s potentially serious.

But with reasoning, curiosity has killed the cat. “There’s no other time like now. I promise I’ll keep an open mind with whatever you’re about to tell me.” You try to keep your tone soft, make an attempt to ease the bot of any worry. It’s stress inducing as he ponders what he plans to say. You slightly shift in your seat, growing ever so impatient as the seconds tick by.

As luck would have its way with you, you were not at all prepared about what he had to say. “I’ve grown a certain affection for you human. One that would be considered impossible or even vulgar by my kind, I’ve been thinking of it for many days, and I don’t expect you to return such feelings for me as I do you, but I ask that you think it over and take into consideration of my intentions and the mental hoops I’ve jumped to be brave enough to tell you such things.” You stay quiet, not quite knowing what to say to him. There’s a million things you could say, that you want to tell him. But somehow you can’t, and it hurts you ever so slightly.

“Can I ask questions?” You ask. Knockout takes a moment to think before he answers.

“You may.”

You let yourself inhale and let out a deep breath you seemed to have been holding.

“What made you come to this conclusion? That you in fact have feelings for me. If that’s even the case” you say, you’re treading on loose ground, landmines fill the vast perimeter of opportunities and you’re scared that with one wrong step it could all go south from here.

“When we first met. You didn’t know I was a Decepticon, nor that my kind even existed until you saw me bashed to all hell. But you pushed aside your caution for a being you were unfamiliar with, and proceeded to give me kindness and warmth of which I have yet to feel in my lifetime. Eons of war had rugged me human, causing me to believe such gentle beings like yourself were non existent. Scarce if we’re trying to be positive. But you were brave, level headed and strong. Even after the Autobots found us together and you went with them, you still made it a point to make sure I was in condition to get myself to safety, even after finding out about what you know now, of what I’ve done. You still offered me a chance of solitude. Even now your presence makes me feel impenetrable, like I’m capable of almost anything I can try. That is what made me come to that conclusion earthling. I understand this is all a lot of information for you so I’m giving you a week by your time, to ponder over my words. I’ll pick you up the night of and we can brief about it more.” You hadn’t noticed it before, but Knockout had seemed to drove in a loop as you find yourself back home suddenly. The seatbelt comes unclasped and you step out, telling the mech you’ll be sure to think it over and that you’ll have a definite answer by the time he set. With a hum of his engine, he speeds off without another word, leading you to wonder to yourself.

What the fuck did you just experience?

———————

I apologize for my absence, graveyard shifts are kicking my ass guys.

Also new Optimus x reader chapter out soon, lookout for it!

-Jen Jen

[nothing-leave-me-alone]

Transformers one swap au

Character posts

Main 4 first and next post will be the others.

Sentinel

Has chronic back pain due to his wings being cramped inside his backplate. Without a cog they are stored there causing back ache and hip pain.

Sentinel is smart, very smart but can't sit still or listen for long. His charisma makes up for it somewhat. So he wants to prove himself useful. (my adhd king just like me fr)

Regarded as wasted potential. Bumblebee is slightly sweet on him due to seeing himself in him. "I can do it, I swear I can. Just... Just let me show you what I can do"

Made a golden hover board with scrap metal as a mobility aid since he can't wear a jetpack like the other due to his wings making bumps in his back

So good at slipping into hard to reach places and manouvering around the factories ever moving components

Wants to participate in the kaon 5000. Unlike OG Orion he dosent do it for the other cogless, but for himself, to prove he can help

He feels he needs to make up for his inability to do as much as others.

Breaks into the kaon collyseum repeatedly to use their training rooms and take scrap metal for his own use

Arachnid

Has horrible optic sight but very very capable with her hands none the less

Perfect hard working arachnid, the model cogless Smith. Yet so so alone for her 'unusual' behavior and body

Projecting my body dysmorphia and bad eyesight onto her

Feels responsible for sentinel. Both out of worry for his delicate constitution and for being the only bot who seems to like her

Respects starscream as her superior and they have a mutual understanding of sentinels unruly behavior.

Cannot for the life of her get into bees good graces. She does things too well and still fumbles social interactions with her supervisors

Starscream

Starscream, or screamer, as everyone calls him, or Star as fewer (only sentinel) call him is the head cogless bot of sentinels smithing team.

Perfectionis, to the extreme

He's specifically good at spotting any fault in a blade or blaster with a single sweep of the optics.

Very, Very critical of quality control.

has no trine but he still feels the loss of it. He feels an enhanced sense of responsibility over the bots under him.

Deep need for control. Things must be done his way and done right. He feels something deeply missing in him and he can't quite tell what.

Feels a horrid sense that something is missing and out of his control and it scares him. So maybe if he can micromanaged everything and everyone around him, this deep hole in his spark will just stop

Annoyed by sentinels disregard for his perfectly planned life yet so so worried over his weakest member. Why can't he just stay still and do his part.

Darkwing

Resides in sublevel 50, it's not a smitting level..... It's a weapon testing facility...

Darkwing lives in a constant battle, drones come at random intervals to quality test the weapons the smiths make in here.

Darkwing proved no good at forging weapons, or making ammo, or smiting armor or even shipping them out.

Too feral, too dumb, too much, his only use was deemed as a weapon himself but without a cog he wouldn't last in the arene

His job? survive.

He's not as alone as bee as many cogged bots come here willingly when they are deemed unfit for the front lines and they can't cope with the failure

They don't last long so he hasn't had permanent friends in a while.

VERY excited when other cogless joined him down there in level 50, these guys must be real tough stuff to make it down there without cogs. Looks up to sentinel for persevering despite it all

Thinks arachnid is cool

Starscream please stop yelling at him he just dumb like that

[starlightshadowsworld]

Hot take: The favoured "golden child" of the Percy Jackson series... Is Percy himself.

I don't know how people think it's Jason. Are you kidding me? Jason hasn't even met his father. Juno/Hera loves him but she still completely ruined his life.

Percy scolds his father and gets away with sitting on his throne. Meanwhile, Zeus was about to fry Jason alive for simply speaking out against him.

That's nothing compared to what Percy has done to Zeus. I mean he shipped the man Medusa's severed head once.

And knowing him he'd do it again.

Percy turned down a quest from Apollo, who while mortal at the time could still smite him for it later.

Percy's respected by them, begrudgingly in some cases but it still counts. And he has earned that, I'm not saying he hasn't.

He's probably the most beloved of all demigods and it would piss him off to know that.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

"Luffy... help me..."

It's often been said about One Piece that you should "read it until Arlong Park," but it's one very specific MOMENT in Arlong Park that's important here. If this resonates with you, you're a One Piece fan, and if it doesn't, well, maybe it's not for you.

Let me tell you about it.

TRANSCRIPT:

Which are the best panels in One Piece?

It's often said in the One Piece community that you should stick with it until Arlong Park, and if you're not into One Piece by that point, THAT's when you know it's not a series for you.

I think this is true, and the reason why is this scene. This scene is how you know.

Nami has spent eight years working on her own, since she was a child of only ten, lying, deceiving, stealing, fighting and scamming, all to gather the money that Arlong wants so she can save her village. And now with the goal in sight, Arlong uses the Navy (all Marines are bastards) to steal her money so he can keep exploiting her.

The villagers she has been protecting have had enough, and are going to throw themselves at the fishmen and die, and the beloved friends she made on the Straw Hat Crew keep refusing to leave even though she KNOWS that Arlong will kill them. Her every ray of hope and all of her attempts at keeping control have failed and now, reduced to incoherent rage and sorrow, she sits in the dirt stabbing a dagger into the tattoo on her shoulder, because hurting herself is the only thing she can do to spite Arlong.

And then Luffy comes along and stops her.

She yells at him, throws dirt at him, rejects him, tells him to f*** off basically, and when he doesn't… because she has nothing else left, because there's no plan, because everything is falling down around her, she finally lets down her walls, and says what's in her heart. "Luffy… help me." (p 200, first panel)

And Luffy takes off his hat, his treasure, and gives it to her, and walks forward, and with his characteristic cartoony ridiculousness screams as loud he possibly can "OF COURSE I WILL."

Luffy doesn't know why she needs him. He doesn't know why she lied, why she stole the ship, he doesn't know about Belle-Mère or Nojiko or Nami's deal with Arlong. And he doesn't need to know, because she's his friend and she's his crew, and he loves her, she doesn't need a tragic backstory to deserve his help, she deserves it because she needs it, she deserves it because she asked.

Luffy knows that every time Nami tried to push him away, every time she told him to fuck off and leave her, her heart wasn't in it. Just like he'll know it with Robin, just like he'll know it with Sanji. And he knows that when she asks him for help, she has never meant anything more deeply in her life.

For that, he will move mountains. For that, he will level fortresses, he will smite gods and he will slay dragons. For love does Luffy do these things.

People hype up the moment when the crew get together and go to Arlong Park as the best moment of this chapter, and I'm not gonna say that it isn't awesome. Badass as hell, absolutely certified.

But… this chapter belongs to Nami, and her moment right here, because this is the moment that a girl who has fought so hard and so alone for so long finally finds the strength and the courage that it takes to trust someone else to lift your burdens.